


Lessons in Love, and Other Such Things.

by furies



Category: Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-25
Updated: 2010-12-25
Packaged: 2017-10-14 02:46:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/144504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/furies/pseuds/furies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prim and Katniss, before Mockingjay. There is no Mockingjay here.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lessons in Love, and Other Such Things.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sexonastick](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sexonastick/gifts).



Lessons in Love, and Other Things.

This is what she has learned: fathers do not always come home. It it easier to heal a broken leg than a broken person. Animals, if you love them, love you back.

The same cannot be said for humans.

Katniss wasn't around Prim much during the first years of her life. Now Prim knows, of course, that those years Katniss spent with her father are what keep her family alive. Katniss scaled walls, disappeared into the wild outside of what was appropriate for District 12, and she'd never come home without something for them to eat. She learned the songs of their father, songs that made the birds stop to listen. She escaped the house, with her younger sister and her grief-stricken mother. Prim always tried to stay out of the way, tried to make things easy for Katniss. It was easier for everyone, then. And though it irked Prim a bit every time Katniss mentioned her untucked blouse as a little "duck tail," her pale skin let her blush, and she was charming and innocent. She knew she could never say anything to Katniss about it, especially when Katniss traded for Prim's goat.

Prim didn't ask for the goat, or even particularly want a goat. She wanted to be taller and stronger, more like Katniss. But Katniss, Prims realizes, wanted to give Prim the childhood she didn't have. Katniss didn't want Prim to be hard and strong. She wanted her to be happy. And since Katniss wasn't happy, she assumed, in her usual socially impaired way, that in order to be happy, Prim had to be different than Katniss. Prim had to be everything Katniss wasn't, like soft, and instantly likable, and most of all, still capable of hope.

Prim knew she could never be like Katniss. That wasn't the problem, if there even was a problem. She smoothed things over between her mother and Katniss in the beginning, and now she smooths things over between Gale and Peeta and Katniss and Haymitch, and she holds the hands of the workers in the Seam who come to their house, crying out in pain. Prim was always supposed to stay home with her mother and her goat, and wear ribbons in her hair. Go to school, charm the neighbors with her innocence. And truth be told, Prim didn't know any different, didn't know that she could be any different, until after.

Everything changed after the reaping. Not that anyone could be surprised, could even imagine a way in which things would stay the same. Even if the residents of Panem could turn the Games off, they wouldn't. In District 12, everyone knew Katniss, and those who didn't seemed to know Peeta. She was the girl on fire, and he was the boy who loved her, the boy with the bread, and both of them were doomed to a death they didn’t deserve. Together, they were perfect District 12, the Seam and Town, brought together in yet another everyday battle for survival. Prim could see through Katniss on the screen, the way she choked out phrases that made magical things appear from the air. It didn't matter. The Capitol loved her, and they loved Peeta, and Prim knew her sister wouldn't go down without a fight.

But Prim could no longer be the girl whotook care of a goat. She couldn't be the innocent who Katniss wanted her to be. Primrose Everdeen traded that hair ribbon in the Hob, and maybe Greasy Sally and the rest took pity on her, but Prim didn't care, not that first time. She had to take care of her mother, and prepare for the reality that Katniss was gone, just like their father.

Prim sold her goat to the mayor's family, to Madge, who gave Katniss the pin that started a revolution, in order to help Katniss get the medicine she needed. The Games seemed to stretch on forever, and Prim's heart grew more confused with each passing day. She knew her sister had to kill the others; it was the only way to survive. Prim wanted her sister back, but Prim also saw the way the Games were changing Katniss. It was there, in her eyes, and there, in the way she walked. In the way she spoke to the camera, and kissed Peeta, and said the things Katniss never would have said, before.

Now, of course, Prim isn't confused. She understands that survival has no rules other than being the one who survives. She understands that sometimes the baby must die for the mother to survive, that the arm must be removed for the body to survive. Prim knows Katniss never wanted her to have to understand these things, but living in District 12, Prim isn't sure if that plan could ever work. Prim is a quick learner and a keen observer, and she knows now that there are things like fate, and luck, and skill. She sees that every day, caring for the sick and wounded. She never would have done it before the reaping, and now Prim's destiny is to be a doctor. She knows this now.

Katniss Everdeen had a destiny, and Prim knew it, before she even knew what destiny was. If District 12 was ever going to have a winner after Haymitch Abernathy, their best chance was Katniss. Katniss knew how to fight. Knew how to take care of herself, knew how to eat. Knew the rules of survival better than anyone. And once Prim saw that the arena wasn't a tundra or a desert, but rather a forest, she let go of a breath she didn't know she was saving. Katniss had a chance.

That’s the thing about Katniss. She always has a chance. She is the bravest person Prim knows, and Prim doesn’t say that simply because Katniss is her sister. Katniss stepped up when their mother couldn’t. Katniss never broke. Prim never saw her cry. Some days though, Katniss would come home with her bag, her hands bleeding from skinning game and pulling bow strings taut, the scent of death undeniably around her, Prim could tell. Katniss would never admit to anything, seeing all emotion as a weakness that she could simply overcome. But the redness in her eyes didn’t come from any of the flora or fauna (Prim knew this from all her reading, all her time at home) and Prim said nothing to betray Katniss’s show of strength. She would heat some water and try to cobble together a bath, though Katniss never stayed in long.

And when Katniss came back, at least, the first time, she was still the older sister who stepped in for Prim to save the day. Prim took her by the hand and showed her the things that had changed: their new house, the new "neighborhood," the way they got food so easily. Their mother - awake, aware, and carving out a new life.

So this is what Prim does: she takes care of the family. Katniss is the provider, the same as she was before. The food, the house, their safety - all thanks to Katniss. Prim wears ribbons again, to make them happy. She smiles. She makes sure everyone is home for dinner. She finds work for her mother (which isn't hard, in District 12, the market on suffering is always booming), and she has a cat named Buttercup, and she doesn't say anything when her sister disappears for half a day and comes home with her eyes slightly unfocused.

But later, after dinner (sometimes with Peeta alone, sometimes with all the Mellarks, sometimes with "cousin" Gale and their other cousin Hawthornes, and often with Haymitch), Prim taps Katniss lightly on the shoulder. "Help me?" she asks with a small smile, holding out her hairbrush.

They sit near the kitchen, listening to their mother talk to herself while cleaning plates, and Katniss works the tangles carefully out of Prim's hair. Prim sits on the floor with Buttercup in her lap, and sings songs she's learned and remembered from when she was a child. She plays the innocent Katniss remembers from before the Games. Prim lets Katniss believe that some things never truly change.

Sometimes Prim thinks that brush is magic. With each stroke, she can feel a shift in Katniss. By the end, after Katniss makes Prim's hair shine and weaves a ribbon through it, Katniss's smile almost looks real.

So Prim works hard to keep the family together. Late at night, when they have all said good night, she pulls out the old book of remedies and recipes and herbs, and she studies. Prim will never be in the same position she was, needing someone to save her. She is not helpless, not useless, no longer innocent. She mends wounds on men made by men, holds the hands of boys coughing and dirty from the hours in the darkness of the mines, stitches together children who believe her sister is a savior, and helps women bring new life into this hard and sometimes terrible world. Prim made a promise to herself that she renews daily. Katniss will never find her a burden again. Ever.

This is how she will get through life, now: Act as if things are normal.

So she does. Sometimes she cries, but she doesn't let anyone hear. Everything is different now. Gone is the girl with the ribbon and the goat. The Reaping, the Capitol, didn’t end up taking her sister away. But they forced Prim to grow up and realize that change only happens if you are brave enough to try. Katniss is the girl on fire, the center of something so much bigger than she could ever imagine. That she even realizes. (Peeta realizes, Prim knows, and is happy that he looks out for Katniss, even if his destiny is loving a girl who can never love him in the same way.) And Prim knows Katniss doesn’t like being there. The Everdeen girls were always a reserved sort. To be honest, Prim thinks that the real reason Katniss loved to hunt so much wasn’t that she felt like it was her job, or had this huge sense of responsibility. Maybe being outside the fences made her feel closer to their father. But really, Prim thinks, being outside the fences meant silence wasn’t just okay, it was required. There is Gale, of course (there is always Gale), but Prim knows things are different between the two of them. Gale understands what Katniss needs before she even does herself, and Gale loves Katniss in a way that Katniss can never return. Prim understands this about her sister, somehow, without knowing anything really about how love works. It’s the reason she knew Katniss had a good a chance as any at winning the Games.

Katniss hates emotion. Hates the way they can take control. Hates what they can reveal. But Prim? Prim doesn’t fight her own emotions. She listens to the way people sound when they come to their house, seeking respite from pain, from life, and Prim lets her love wash over them. Prim feels joy, and she shows it. Prim loves; the wounded, the weak, the broken. Prim loves cats and dogs and goats, flowers and bread and bows. The only thing Prim doesn’t love is violence, and she takes that anger and turns it into love. Emotions are not scary, Prim thinks, not when you know what they are. Emotions are meant to remind humanity they are alive.

Prim is different now, and she keeps things going here, in the Victory Village, where nothing is the same but you play the game of being normal, like before, all the same.


End file.
